The Real Lance Brown

The following will not appear in the “Lifestyles of the Natural & Professional” section of the upcoming issue of The Simplifier:

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Oh, to be the young upstart! The new guard, the fresh blossom; it’s so inspiring and exciting…to beat the crusty, lame, old, creaky…

I’m speaking, of course, of the feud between the Project Simplify and Natural Professional Facebook “fan pages”. We (The Natural Professional) are totally crushing Project Simplify! I mean, they’ve had a fan page since like 2009 (and I don’t mean December 2009)—and we already have more than twice as many fans. And we’ve only had a fan page since like 2009 (and I do mean December)!

Just to be clear, we (Project Simplify) are proud to see our little N.P. having such early success, and we’re totally not jealous at all. (Because, of course, we know we’re largely responsible for said success.)

Well, that’s very big of you, Project Simplify, and we (The Natural Professional) would like to point out that PS is totally not old and dusty and archaic at all. And we will absolutely try to remember them when we get rich and famous.

Hey—no need to get nasty! We Project Simplify have a few cards we could play too—you The Natural Professional might want to remember that…

You see what we (the Shawn Tuttle and Lance Brown) have to deal with here? Simplification can be so ironic!

I don’t know exactly how to settle this feud, but I can tell you—and this is confidential—that Project Simplify is genuinely happy to see the blossoming of The Natural Professional’s presence on Facebook, and would like to encourage you to become a “fan” if you aren’t already. It will work out its jealousy issues in time. ;-)

From Robin Mallery of HeartMatters:

Lance has provided unmatched attention to detail during the building of my website, not only from a technical perspective but also content related. He is witty, charming, and quite bright. Lance’s ideas are out of the box, he drinks a lot of Coke, and does not like banana bread.

-from “Robin Recommends…Freelance Lance”

Kudos for my eagle-eye editing from “serial entrepreneur” Allen Oelschlaeger:

“Honestly, I’ve never received more thoughtful and useful feedback on my copy than this. Thanks.”

A new testimonial, fresh from my inbox:

“You’ve been a great writing coach.”

-long-time client Shawn Tuttle (of Project Simplify and The Natural Professional)

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• Of all the Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon is the one I am most oversaturated with, but if I hear 5 seconds of it, it never fails to grab me. #
• Wow, that was superb. Anyone with an interest in Pink Floyd should check out that doc. It's streaming at Netflix: http://bit.ly/6YJBi0 #

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• @linzeeanne That is a genuine bummer. :-( I hired from within before the ad went public. All hope may not be lost, though. We should talk. in reply to linzeeanne #

• I'm finally burning & packaging 5 mix CDs for family members that I started ~2 years ago. It feels like I'm sending a kid off to college. #
• This is good news… Federal court restricts Taser use by police: http://bit.ly/4tG5z4 #
• Hmm…what's worse–the newslady giggling while reporting murder, or me being so tickled by it? News Bloopers of 2009: http://bit.ly/8dM6C5 #
• I just found my first-ever assistant. Very exciting, and scary. #
• @linzeeanne That is a genuine bummer. :-( I hired from within before the ad went public. All hope may not be lost, though. We should talk. in reply to linzeeanne #