The Real Lance Brown

As Socrates said to Plato, "Please don't tell anyone what you heard here."
February 10, 2010

Ensnared in my regrets, I see…

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

Ensnared in my regrets, I see
A bitter face looking back at me
The face is my own, and the bitter is too
And my regrets ensnaring me is nothing new
But something is rising– or rising again
My strength is returning like a long lost friend

Like a long lost friend who has shown up too late
Who can only observe the unrolling of my fate
And stand helpless, restrained, watching through glass
As I continue to stand, and then fall on my ass
Again and again, and again and again and again
Just beyond the reach of the help of my friend


-1/05/06

October 20, 2009

Breakthrough

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared

Duct-taped doorknob
Trash is my home
I’m broke and alone
I hate the fucking phone

Leave a message at the tone
And I won’t get back to you
Because my self-contempt
Is breaking through


-Summer 2006

August 31, 2009

Drilling

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

my cobweb circulation
betrays me
the inner me
it shows my face to my face

inside it’s welling
burbling gurgling
I spew occasionally
both good and bad

will I understand?
when I understand.
(I will)

November 14, 2004

Hello! My name is…Poem

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

A poem
Of a truly poetic nature
Would never refer to itself
Instead it would stay
at the cusp of the day
filling up a drop of dew
that hangs from a lonely leaf
always hanging, never dropping
Until a persistent ray
Of warmthening sun
Would rise above itself
To meet the challenge
Steaming
That verse-filled drop
out of existence

And that steam
would later be captured
In the thin mist of
Nervous perspiration
On the brow of
A young lover
As he approaches the door of
She whom he most desires

And never conquered-
No–
Never conquered
Not the steam
Nor the drop
Nor the noonday sun
None of these,
Or the armies that follow
can defeat
the dream of a love
Untarnished

And that is not to say
That there had been no attempt
At tarnishment
That is not to say
That there had been no
Challengers
That is not to say that
There had been no battle,
Then triumph, then battle again,
Then defeat, then triumph
And more battle
No!
No!
There were all those things
And more
In the young lover’s heart
as he reached the door
And he mopped at the mist
that gathered on his brow
As he anticipated
the evening, and the morrow

And why would a dewdrop
transformed into the bead of a young lover’s anticipation
And all the unknown battles that were fought to produce it
Why would these, together
with the young lover himself,
and his lover as well
ever confess
To being a lowly poem
or worse– mere players within?

A proper poem would never
Pull off that mask
It would never
Answer that question (or another)
A proper poem
would not step right up
and introduce itself
It would not look you in the eye
And profess its true nature

Proper poems are more sly than that
They make me jealous
Sneaky bastards.

(Written 11-13-04)

September 8, 2004

Star

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

A shooting star
Every night
It’s quite a sight
A dashing light
Night after night
The sky takes flight
It’s quite a sight

August 31, 2004

The Dream

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

I had a dream
It was a pretty boring one though
No major special effects
No strange changes of scenery
No flying, floating, or falling
Nothing was chasing me
I didn’t have an epiphany or
A meeting with God
Saw some old friends I haven’t talked to in a while
It was sort of a picnic, camping thing
Played soccer with some kid
I don’t know who
There was a table
And a woman in a wheelchair

And that morning
I resisted waking up
Kept wanting to stay in that dream
Partly
Because I wanted to unlock the
Mystery of the subconscious message
that it had for me
Partly
To stay snuggled in the comfort
The safe universe
That dreams can supply
Partly because
I didn’t really get a chance
To talk to my friends
And I’m not sure if I
Apologized sufficiently
To the woman in the wheelchair

But mostly
I wanted to go back
And back
And back again
Just to see
How the dream
Was going to end

July 8, 2004

Questions Were Answers

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

Sometimes I wish that questions were answers
And that wondering was understanding
And that hoping was achieving
And wishing was having
I wish sometimes that ignorance was knowledge

If questions were answers
I’d ask them all day

June 29, 2004

San Pedro

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared

San Pedro is a place
That I’ve never been
In fact
I’m not totally sure it’s a place
But I think it is
I think I’ve heard of it
I think I’ve heard someone else
Talk about San Pedro
As a place that they had been
Actually,
I don’t think they were talking
I think they were singing
And not about a place they had been
But one where
The person they were singing about had been

And that’s when I developed a connection
To San Pedro
A connection that lasts to this day
And will almost certainly last all my life
And I still don’t know if San Pedro is even a place
If it is
It’s a place I’ve never been

June 6, 2004

Different

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

It’s a different understanding
Every day.
Every day
A different world
And a way of seeing it
That’s different
Than ever before

Every moment
A unique perspective
Every moment
Never to be seen again

The Titans

Author: Lance - Categories: Undeclared, Worth Reading

Ten tall trees
Together
Towering
They thrive through the tests
The threats
The trauma

Thanks to the trees
That tree
This tree
Those two trees
These three trees
That tree there

They truly triumph
Those trees
Towering timelessly
Titans